Friday, November 09, 2007

Postage

its been a really long time since i updated... probably im just lazy or ya... its been wat... nearly 5 months since my last post... haha anyway things have been rocky for me... having problems regarding religion and going to the army... pretty up and down... probably they just find me rebellious on their side? im not sure...

Now this is the interesting things they tell me... if anyone noes me they would probably go like oooh he is seventh day adventist... ya its very popular now... everyone even a kid noes seventh day adventist... so here it goes...

A: ok i want to know why your going into the army when you have the option to go to CD.
S: cause its a personally decision and anyway due to my condition im not allowed to participate with firearms or anything regarding it. And personally i wouldn't want to be a medic cause... ya i just don't want to and i rather not do office work at CD as far as i know... nvm shan't elaborate much on that.
A: ok, so you don't take up firearms so what are you going to do when you finish your BMT?
S: ill probably tryout to work at the technology department.
A: oh i see. ok, can you tell me what the technology department does?
S: well they do various types of work from clerical to perhapes even stuff regarding on virtual issues.
A: ah i see. So isn't that still some sort of way to prepare people to kill people?
S: *thinks* "you do have a point there... "
S: ok so if thats the case than perhapes maybe some help in the medical examination area?
A: ah but you see... if your there. Aren't you preparing the soldiers for their training to kill?
S: *thinks* "okay.... "
S: Than perhapes ill just go for clerical work at the camps?
A: ah than won't you be administrating the soldiers for war to kill?
S: *thinks* "WTF you actually have everything to counter what im about to say huh... im truly amaze at what you guys can think of the army "
A: ok you go think about what i told you
S: ok
S: *thinks* " whats there to think... everything you tell me abt the army or any post there is in the army is to kill? so if i become a driver? ill be assisting the killing in some way or another? "

I'm starting to understand why some people left SDA and after hearing some of their problems. It seems the problem is the church itself... They have no idea how many internal errors they have and they just don't seem to do anything about it. The people and God make up the church... but it seems the people in it are the ones that are the problem.

Jee im probably going into deep meditation to think. I know God has saved me time and time over my life and help me go through my problem. I'm glad i believe in him and of course if he keeps me alive till now, im sure he has something in stored for me.

My mom left the church many years ago due to a problem regarding the church as well. I think what she says makes some logic... and perhapes she is my MOM... my flesh and blood and perhapes me and her do have some thinking alike and etc.

Mom: ok son... being a hypocrite and going to church is like better off not going to church... and that person would be... u noe... but son let me tell you this. Its not what you eat that bring you to heaven. Its not what you plan to do with your life that brings you to heaven. Its what you believe and how you can overcome problems by asking God and letting God guild you.

Anyway ill just see how things go and ya i believe that God is still guiding me and he wouldn't let go. There goes like one Gigantic part of what troubles me...

Now... so far since july to now... ive been moving house... doing work... work... drawing = work... ya... watching tv... playing WoW... ya i guess thats about it... My life at relationship is still at a constant problem and it doesn't seem to get any better... probably falling apart soon due to a lot of problems such as religion - character... Its like the person you started to like has somehow changed or just turned away... talk less... dun give a damn abt wat u are doing... can't be probably bothered abt tis and tat... negligence to stuff happening ard... giving u hope abt changing... religion kicks away love... i just think its time to move on... 3 years... oh wait ya 3 years... is it me? am i doing something wrong? i talk, i care, i bother, trying to change, i swear to u i have no idea whats wrong? or am i the onli one doing the job? if its recently how im treating u than u have to ask yourself why am i being like tis... yes im pretty much still human... i do have emotion... i think i noe why... age... yes it has to be age... and religion...

Anyway can't wait to finish army and go to korea and finish up studying there maybe life could turn for a better when im there ^^ the cold weather the snow the people wahaha nice place i would say ^^ cheers signing off

Destiny at 8:55 PM